✨ Postpartum Body – Shame and Respect

As I feel the drops of milk plummet onto my soft and squishy tummy I can’t help but look down and notice the tiger claws and the fresh, bright red line still healing. The incision from where my fourth daughter entered this world.

I close my eyes and under my finger tips, the impressions of my “tiger stripes” pave the way to the bumps on my newest scar. Just as my leaking breast milk takes another dive.. this time striking my knucklea small tear glides off my cheek.

I wish it was easier for me to embrace my postpartum body. I can’t help but feel somewhat ashamed of it. I feel like I did something wrong. Like I wasn’t lucky enough to just bounce back.

I look around me and see all these women embracing their new bodies. I try so hard to shake these feelings of resentment of myself and embrace the new me – the older, wiser, strong woman who gave life for the fourth time, yet I find myself struggling to let go of the images in my head of the once confident me.

I’m not proud of my postpartum body. I really do hope I can get there one day.. I truly feel like I will. But for now, I’ll just appreciate what it has given me.

It has provided shelter for nine months to my four children. It has helped me nourish my daughters so that they may grow to be strong toddlers. It has carried them and cared for them in ways I still can’t wrap my head around.

It has left little impressions that are kissed ever so softly by their father reminding us of the times we laid in bed waiting to feel the next movement of our then unborn child. The movements of those little hands and little toes we kiss and hold so dear.

I am eternally grateful to have experienced this wonderful abundance of joy and love. The little girl who dreamed of a happy big family would be so proud of us right now. I absolutely respect it, I’m just not ready to be love it.

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12 thoughts on “✨ Postpartum Body – Shame and Respect

  1. Johnathan Shkreli February 2, 2019 — 4:42 pm

    Keep it up! Love reading these from you. I hope more women subscribe and you get an amazing following! Love you ❤️

    Sent from my iPhone

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    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love you! Thank you so much ❤️❤️ means a lot

      Like

  2. violetta Elezovic February 2, 2019 — 5:15 pm

    There’s so much to be proud of!! Love this most and all the real, raw honesty ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you 💕 Not easy to admit, but I know I’m not alone.

      Like

  3. It’s a difficult time with hormones making us feel differently within minutes! But you’ll get there… X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So true when you say feeling differently within minutes. These heightened sense of emotions could be a little overwhelming at times. ❤️ but I know I only get one chance to sob uncontrollably over my babies first COO! ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for this.I can relate 100% .40 and fourth baby.My oldest is 22 and youngest before the baby is 12.The past 11 months after giving birth has been the hardest.Love my baby girl so much and she is the reason I fell sane after the body changes and health issues I’ve had with this pregnancy.You are beautiful and you have a beautiful family.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you soo much! It really is so hard because you look at this person in the mirror and almost do not recognize them. I’m glad you’re doing better ❤️ we will get there !!

      Like

  5. I love this so much. I live with this every day, but I look at my 3 kids and it’s all worth it. We were made for this 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yup!! It’s sooo hard but it really is the greatest gift this life has to offer

      Like

  6. What an honest post, thank you. Beautiful photos also by the way! I can so relate to what you’re writing… I came to terms with my post-pregnancy body (2 pregnancies) after accepting that change is inevitable and I shouldn’t expect to look like I did five years ago. It’s hard to do though, and I feel we are constantly hit with images and expectations to the contrary.
    Chin up, fellow mums. Our bodies are nothing less than amazing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much!! Our bodies really are amazing! And I feel so guilty for feeling the way I do sometimes, because it is amazing and it gave me the greatest gifts of my life!! But the truth is the truth 🤷🏼‍♀️

      Liked by 2 people

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